:: My Blog's Name is Jennifer ::

:: Friday, May 31, 2002 ::

Today's blog is dedicated to...Tracey!

*applause*

We went to McDonald's for breakfast today (the second time I went there with a friend this week). We each had orange juice, a hash brown, and a sausage something. Mmmmm-MMM! Greasy greasy greasy - how I love thee.

I also must report that I'm going to Indiana the Sunday after graduation. We're FLYING, which freaks the hell out of me and always has. People keep telling me, "Oh, you're more likely to get in a car crash than an airplane crash." My response:

1) There are way for cars than airplanes, therefore more crashes.
2) I'm more likely to survive a car crash than a plane crash.

I'm already freaking out!

But anyone who wants a postcard from Indiana, tell me. I'll see what I can do, God willing.
:: Mac 5:16 PM [+] ::
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Find your Role-Playing
Stereotype at mutedfaith.com.
[Angel.]



:: Mac 8:23 AM [+] ::
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Today's blog is specifically for Brianna, because I seem to have misplaced her email address. So everyone else avert your eyes or Happy Noodle Boy will find you and force you to stare into his cavernous crotch.

Okay. Here's the URL you wanted: http://people.hws.edu/colleenlogan/tutorial.html

Also, how's my movie coming along? Is it TOO horrible? Will it be finished by 6th period on Monday? Oh God, I KNOW I sound pushy, but this thing's worrying me. I keep imagining that you, thinking it was an outtake or just something that was filmed on accident, will cut out an important piece of it. Not that it'd be your fault at all! I think I just need to calm down...

Okay, this one's for Annie: actually, my secondary color was red, which is supposed to be "just as important" as my number one color. But in that case, why is there a primary color at all? Very confusing. But your view of me was, therefore, accurate!

Tracey: I have nothing to say to you. Sorry.
:: Mac 3:24 PM [+] ::
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Take the Concubine Quiz at Scared Ducky!

It disturbs me that my "concubine" would point a bow and arrow at me, but hey, I'm pleased as punch anyway...



Which LOTR Woman are you?

I don't know who this is, but she sounds all right. Galadriel's kinda crazy and Arwen's a pushover, so this lady seems like a great alternative.
:: Mac 8:57 AM [+] ::
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Okay, here it is...

THE ORIGIN OF JENNIFER

As those of you who have been loyal Jenn-Heads since the very beginning, the original name of this blog was "I am Mackenzie". Wow. How creative, right? Well, I needed to put SOMETHING, and I knew I could change it later to something better. Then I sat down to think for a long, hard while.

The name Jennifer just came to me! Jennifer is the girl who, if you asked her the time, would haughtily toss her hair and say, "Fuck you! I don't need this!" Jennifer knows what's going on; she's intelligent, sophisticated, and just a little too good for you. Jennifer is the shizz-nitz.

Okay, NOW here's the truth: I stole it. I stole the name of my blog! One of my new very very very favorite comic books is titled "My Monkey's Name is Jennifer", written and drawn by Ken Knudtsen. This Jennifer really isn't a monkey, but an ape. Why? Because "monkey" sounds funnier. And also, this simian Jennifer is...male. An angry, neutered male ape. Why? Because it's funny.

And that's what I was going for with the name of MY blog. Also, I liked the idea of referring to this by a first name. It all fit together for me.

Anyone interested in "MMNIJ", just tell me! I'll gladly let you borrow the two issues I have.

And that's the whole truth.

:: Mac 7:59 PM [+] ::
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Take the The "What Teen Label Do You Fit Into Most?" Quiz!
by antiperfect
:: Mac 9:36 AM [+] ::
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As you all can see, we now have a TagBoard! If you don't see it, it's under "recommended". If you CAN'T see it, then you are blind and how the hell are you reading this anyway? Many innumerable thanks to Annie, who made it for Jennifer! So now if you have a comment about an entry, you can stick it in there and you needn't get all scared about emailing me or whatnot...I know how threatening I seem.


:: Mac 9:29 AM [+] ::
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I have two color-related quizzes to post today:




Red: 14/100 Blue: 21/100 White: 5/100 Yellow: 5/100

Take the Color Code Test
by Dano

I'd say both of these are pretty accurate, but the Color Code Test is probably the most interesting and gives the most information. As you can see, my secondary color was red, and a lot of that fit me too.




:: Mac 7:34 AM [+] ::
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Okay, I'm sorry, but I just HAVE to add this. Right now I saw this commercial for an old movie called 83 Hours Till Dawn. It's about some couple's daughter who gets kidnapped, so they're searching for her. I HATE the title!! When you first hear, you take it literally. Then you realize, "Duh. There're only 24 hours in a day, so this can't possibly be true. Maybe if it's set in Alaska...?" So, "Ohhh, it's a metaphor! The "dawn" is the return of the daughter, and that's going to take 83 hours!" This RUINS the movie! You KNOW, not even seeing the film, that this is the ending. God! It's like naming The Empire Strikes Back something along the lines of You Are Not My Father, Darth Vader, Even Though You Say So At The End, To Me, Luke Skywalker. Maybe I'm exaggerating. Oh wait, no, I'm not.
:: Mac 5:09 PM [+] ::
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Today I went to McDonald's with Annie, which to most of you won't seem like such a big deal, but for me it was getting out of the house! We both had McNuggets, fries, and a drink, with our choice of dipping sauce. Boy, all those courses...McyDee's, you make me feel like a princess.

I also got my prom pictures, which was something of a disappointment. I look like I'm pregnant in one picture (probably with a six inch, eleven pound, headless baby), and in all the rest I just look fugly. I suppose everyone thinks that, but in my case...well. I don't want to depress myself.

Tomorrow, you all shall know the long-awaited tale of...

HOW JENNIFER GOT HER NAME.

*insert dramatic percussion solo here*

I hope you can all sleep tonight, with the anticipation and all.


:: Mac 4:55 PM [+] ::
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This part of today's blog will be devoted to...the owl!



Oh, you magestic bird. And if that weren't enough, during another "animal quiz", I got this:

"You are either a Owl or a Penguin personality.
But you may also be a Bison personality."

So I guess I'm pretty owly. Basically, what owls are being described as is "smart" and "wise", 'cause, y'know, stereotypes and whatnot. And I would be flattered, if not for the lingering memory of Sixth Grade Science Camp, where I was told that the owl is really stupider than the stump it sits on. Yowza! Memory is not good for the old self-esteem. As for the penguin, all I can remember is that it's charming and doesn't really fit in - I suppose that's like me. Also, for those who know me really well, Oscar Wilde is a penguin! Yay! Oh, one Owl was Abraham Lincoln, the second time I've been compared to him in a quiz. As for Bison, to abridge its description, it's essentially ugly, but makes a good parent! I think I'd rather be a bird.
:: Mac 7:36 AM [+] ::
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Today I had lunch with my mother. I love her and all, but Jesus H. Christ, she's annoying sometimes. Here's what our conversations typically consist of:

Herself.....................................................52%
Something on TV......................................24%
Something she's already told me about..........13%
Music videos (which I don't watch!).............10%
Other ......................................................1%

This is barely an exaggeration. Usually, I just sit there and nod while she talks for 2 hours straight. Ugh. What is it about my family lately??

We had Black Angus, though. That was good.

If I lived in Middle-Earth, it would be in: The Shire The rolling green hills, the springtime weather, and especially being surrounded by the ones you love makes the Shire a comfortable area for you. You love being surrounded only by the ones you care about, and you only desire this in an environment that is vast and open to nature, unlike in the cities or the caves. Take the "Where in Middle-Earth Would I Live?" Quiz by skepticism

:: Mac 5:08 PM [+] ::
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Mackenzie...write...more...? Yes! I just took some (more) interesting quizzes, which I'm going to share with you (everything in italics are my own comments):

[I] can expect to die on:

November 21, 2051
at the age of 67 years old.

On that date [I] will most likely die from:
Cancer (38%)
Electrolysis (16%)
Heart Attack (8%)
Suicide (5%)
Horrible Accident (5%)
Alien Abduction (5%)
Wild Animal Mauling (5%)

I'm not too pleased with that...the cancer thing I was expecting, but 67 still seems kind of young. Dammit, I'll never see my great-grandkids! *sob*

[I am] 16% GAY!

That's less gay than average for someone of your gender and supposed orientation. The typical straight female is 32% gay!

So all my female friends don't have to worry...

Congrats! In your life, you'll have sex with 2 people!

And you'll first have sex at age 21, in your own bed.

There were also some notes that both would be male, I'd be in love with one of them, and there'd be a long and fufilling relationship, but I didn't copy and paste any of that. This I could live with, if there's any accuracy. 21 is a reasonable age...not TOO young, but not old enough so it's embarrassing. Plus, a life-long relationship? Sounds good to me. Here's hoping one of the two is Rivers Cuomo! (Woohoo!!)

If anyone out there takes these quizzes, I'd be interested in knowing the results. C'mon, Gary, I know YOU will, at least, and Annie is right now! Tell me! TELL ME! I wanna know...

To do so, go visit: www.thespark.com


:: Mac 8:49 PM [+] ::
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Today, when my dad left my bedroom, he didn't close my door behind him. My exact words, in response to that, were, "Thanks for closing my door." Imagine the sentence fairly drenched with teen angst-sarcasm. His answer was, "Why don't you eat shit? Close it yourself!"

This bothered me for several reasons. First of all, I DID close my door - I closed it before he ever opened it. Secondly, he expects me to show him any respect whatsoever when this is how he talks to me? Screw him! He always puts me down and makes me feel insignificant, and yet can't fathom why I'd ever want to go to school in Indiana.

How I loathe my family. And tonight I get to eat dinner with all my cousins and uncles and whatnot! Whee!

I was pleased with how this quiz turned out...
:: Mac 3:37 PM [+] ::
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Take the Which Spider-Man Character Are You? quiz by ZyberGoat


:: Mac 2:28 PM [+] ::
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Time to let off some steam, everyone!

THINGS THAT CONSTANTLY VEX ME

1. The fact that my brother feels the need to act like a moron every minute of every day.
2. That watery stuff that comes out of the ketchup bottle first.
3. My lack of social life.
4. When people can't do what I can.
5. Dead baby lobsters.
6. Being in love with someone who doesn't know.
7. New X-Men.
8. When people spell my name with an uppercase "k".
9. Falling asleep during a good show.
10. When you order the same meal at the same restaurant a hundred times in a row, and they STILL mess it up.
11. When birds wander around in the middle of the road.
12. Bad pictures of my favorite celebrities...(see below)
:: Mac 6:09 PM [+] ::
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:: Mac 5:58 PM [+] ::
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Which Piercing are you?

:: Mac 9:57 AM [+] ::
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"There's something wrong with girls who like Johnny comics." - someone

Well, I already knew there was something wrong with me. It's only now that's it been confirmed that, yes, I DO like Johnny the Homicidal Maniac. He's dark, very disturbing, and terrifyingly understandable. Like, half the time or more I'm like, "Yeah, I totally get why he slaughtered that entire cafe of people." Of course, I think Jhonen Vasquez is trying to tell us that we really shouldn't be sympathizing with this psycho; we should be making the entire world less psychotic.

I like Squee. He reminds me of me. "SQUEE!"

Oh, and I'm declaring Annie my best friend ever, since she was the only one to give in to my sulkiness and ask me why my blog's named what it's named. The answer to that will come soon.


:: Mac 7:44 PM [+] ::
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Whole Brain Dominant leaning to the left You enjoy structure and work best when you can devote your attention to one task at a time. You also work well with abstract ideas and can visualize theoretical situations.

test yourself at TITLE="http://www.geekykid.net/>geekykid.net
" TARGET="_blank">http://www.geekykid.net/>geekykid.net


:: Mac 7:32 AM [+] ::
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I just came to the horrific conclusion that no one is ever going to ask why my blog's name is Jennifer. It's quite depressing, as that was the initial intention of choosing the name. Fine then. The secret of it all will go with me to my grave.

That's right, I have been jaded and I'm not going to stand for it! At least not until I throw a good hissy fit...
:: Mac 8:14 PM [+] ::
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Anything in italics should be taken sarcastically...

Thanks for making my mistakes so public, Brianna. What a great friend. And you don't smell bad either.

You Are Ichabod Crane From "Sleepy Hollow." You're a deep thinker - most times logically. You're a bit of a neat freak and a wuss (hey, you do faint a lot!) but you do have the ability to overcome your fears and come out stronger in the end. And you never lose your head over things. (Gufaw gufaw!)

Take The Johnny Depp Quiz!


Poor Johnny Depp. He USED to be so hot...now he's just some old guy. Aw, what the Hell, he's still hot. And he was good in this movie, too.
:: Mac 8:19 AM [+] ::
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I promised a trivial blog entry today, so you're going to get one. So here's my choices for...

TOP 5 STAR WARS NAMES

5. Wedge Antilles
4. Mace Windu
3. Bib Fortuna
2. Zam Wesell
1. Obi-Wan Kenobi

I wish everyone had names likes this - it'd make life SO much more interesting. And none of those crappy, real names with the trippy last name, like Luke and Owen and Han. That was just giving up.

Something that bothered me today - why do people who HATE Star Wars waste their time and money to see it? And then ridicule it, bothering the huge fans like me? Dammit! I hate the people who think they're just too cool for it, but see it anyway.


:: Mac 4:18 PM [+] ::
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find your element
at mutedfaith.com.
<º>

:: Mac 4:08 PM [+] ::
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So, okay, AVID Beach Party. To be completely honest, I thought it was gonna be lame. I mean, come on, AVID Beach Party?? Most of us are at least part-time nerds, and those of us who aren't didn't show up.

It was in San Clemente on a cold, often rainy day. To get to the beach house we had to walk through a tunnel that was not far from being a sewer. The sand was rocky and uncomfortable. The house was a disappointment, and no one brought a boom box. But you know what? It was still, surprisingly, a whole lot of fun.

We talked! We ate! We played "Ooooo" (which resembles Capture the Flag, only with lots more tackling)! We got little photo albums that were inspirationalized with sayings and poems. Mine declared me to be, "Vibrant, Emotionally Complex, and Alive." I also stole quite a few Red Vines.

As much as I bitch about AVID, I'm going to miss it. For the past four years, it's been a constant in my life and now suddenly it;s going to be gone forever. *sigh*

Sorry everyone. I promise tomorrow's entry will be much more trivial and less depressing.

Oh, and I won a computer today. Yay.

:: Mac 6:02 PM [+] ::
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I'm Legolas!
If something draws near, I can usually feel it

Which LOTR Character are you?

:: Mac 12:37 PM [+] ::
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Um, guys, it's late and I'm kind of tired. Today was the AVID Beach Party; I will give a full report of it tomorrow. In the meantime, enjoy yet another trivial quiz:

Hey, don't be ashamed! Some of the world's most profound thinking has been done on the can.
If you were a room in a house, what room would you be?

I take it as a compliment.
:: Mac 10:20 PM [+] ::
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Today Mrs. Sather (one of the counselors at my school) interupted my Economics class to do a "do a presentation for one of the students." Instantly, I knew it was me. I just knew. And I was right. She presented me with this certificate from the U of E saying I'd won an academic scholarship (which I'd known about since February, $30,000). I'm pretty vain, but this kind of embarrassed me. It's not even that big a deal, but everyone clapped and stared at me like some freak, which doesn't usually bother me; it did this time, for some reason. When I got home I consoled myself with some week-old Mama Cozza's chicken parmigana. Mmmm, week-old.

RETRACTION - Tracey is not a whiner, as mentioned previously. She does smell bad, though.

I'd also like to take the opportunity to apologize to Brianna for misspelling her name several times. I feel kind of stupid, especially since I saw it in its correct form on her own blog (see "recommended"), and also because EVERYONE misspells my name. Gah. Sorry.
:: Mac 4:03 PM [+] ::
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Yeah, this looks just like me:




Which Woman of Beauty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

:: Mac 8:10 AM [+] ::
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Episode II, Attack of the Clones, did not suck. In fact, it is actually very good. The acting was not as bad as I thought it would be. Ewan was AWESOME. The effects were pretty sound. The best new character is by far Jango Fett, Boba's daddy - he's all jumping around and shooting people and whatnot. Neato! Also, I did not realize was a bad ass mo'-fo' Yoda is...until now. Okay, look, I'm trying really hard to not give away any of the important stuff, but it's hard...Oh! A lot of questions from the earlier episodes were answered, which is nice because now the ole Star Wars messageboards can be cleaned out a bit. God! Just watch the movie, okay? Right now! Go. I'll wait right here.

The real fun part, though, was waiting for the movie to actually START. Never underestimate the fortitude of geeks, folks; I went to the 12:01 am showing at the Block of Orange and it was PACKED. I have no idea where my mind was, but for some reason I pictured the line as being quaintly small and filled with only the most die-hard of fans. Um, no. The line went halfway down the street. Well, that might be a slight exaggeration, but not really. We literally sat in the front row (next to a couple of lesbians, but that's a tale for another day). And you think drunk jocks get rowdy? Well, you've never been in a room with several hundred antsy Jedi nerds who want their Force fix!

The best quotes of the night (all yelled at the screen while waiting for the movie to start):

*"Star Waaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrssssssss!" - yelled by a guy running across the theater with no shirt on
*"God Bless Jar Jar Binks!"
*"Ben Afflek sucks!" - in response to The Sum of All Fears trailer
*"Yeah Daredevil!" - also in response to that trailer (DD's being played by Ben), yelled by my dad
*"Shut the fuck up!" - in response to my dad's response
* "Shhhh shh sssshhhhhhhhh!!" - the whole theater when the Matrix trailer came on
*"Less trailers, more light sabers!"

Great times, great times. Oh, and by the way, the award for Most Bad Puns in Less than 30 Seconds goes to C3PO! Oh those wacky little droids. Will they ever learn?
:: Mac 3:31 PM [+] ::
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You are a very shy and timid guy who's worst fear is that bees or ants will steal your treasured picnic basket :(. Your paranoia often annoys your friends but you come in handy when there is danger because of the safety gear you always carry around.
test yourself at geekykid.net
:: Mac 2:22 PM [+] ::
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RETRACTION - Tracey did not make prom boring at all, as I genially hinted at the other day. (There. Satisfied, you whiner?)

Attack of the Clones tonight!! I'll be there at 12:01 am, the first showing. I revel in my geekness. By the way, does anyone know what the term is for a die-hard Star Wars fan? Like a Star Trek fan is a Trekkie, right? Hmmm. What a mind teaser.

Josh, if you actually take a look at old Jennifer and read this, tell me tomorrow at school. Otherwise you're a jerk and I'll have to hurt you. Meanwhile, I'll add another one of these quiz thingies, of which I have about a million...

I am...

Which Fellowship Actor are YOU?

:: Mac 3:34 PM [+] ::
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